For ₹9.95 Lakhs, you can meet Lionel Messi… or

Clear your schedules, cancel your December weddings, and if you were planning to buy a house… don’t.

Because Lionel Messi is coming to Mumbai, and for just ₹9.95 lakhs—you heard that right—you can meet the GOAT. No, not the farm animal. The football one.

So what does this exclusive package get you? A private meet-and-greet (read: you get to say “Hi” before security says “Next”), a professional photo (just in case your phone camera doesn’t capture the Messi magic), a signed Argentina jersey (which you’ll never wear because, hello, frame), lunch at the Taj (imagine eating gulab jamun while Messi politely pokes at a salad), and a penalty kick showcase at the Brabourne Stadium (which we assume will last longer than Mumbai monsoons, but who knows).

And yes, Bollywood will be there too. Because no “authentic football experience” is complete without watching Varun Dhawan try keepy-uppies in Gucci sneakers.

Now, we’re not saying ₹9.95 lakhs is a lot… but for that money, you could:

• Buy a decent car and the petrol to cry in it during traffic.

• Go to Spain—twice—watch a live El Clásico, take a stadium tour in Barcelona or Madrid, eat real churros, and still come back with change to spare.

• Sponsor your entire gully football team with jerseys, boots, cones, water bottles, a coach, and maybe even a striker who idolises Messi - all with an earnest intent of grassroots development.

• Or, if you’re feeling dramatic and hungry, eat one biryani every day for the next 27 years. Yes, we did the math.

And here’s the thing, we are not here to judge.

If meeting La Pulga in the flesh is your childhood dream, your fanboy moment, your “scream-Messi’s-name-till-your-voice-cracks” fantasy, then go ahead by all means. Take a loan. Sell that beloved scooter.

But we’ll be right here, refreshing Instagram to see your photo. Just smile. Don’t blink. Don’t cry.

But also… it’s kinda funny, no? ₹10 lakh to see Messi kick a ball while you’re eating overpriced daal at the Taj, surrounded by influencers pretending to know what an offside is?

It’s iconic. It’s absurd. It’s peak 2025.

So if you’re going, good luck, godspeed, and please don’t wear a Ronaldo jersey. 

And if you’re not going? Don’t worry, neither are 1.4 billion others. You’re in good company. Relax. You’ve already seen the best Messi content there is. It’s him gliding past defenders on a grainy 480p stream, with a commentator screaming:

“MESSI! MESSI! MESSI! ANKARA MESSI!”

That one was free. You’re welcome. 

(This article is an attempt at humor and not in any way intended to disrespect the organisers of the event or Messi himself, who we truly revere. So, please do not take it seriously—unless you’re trying to win an award for missing the joke)